I'm exhausted.

Everything, everything, everything. Everything pulls and I am being tugged in so many different directions- all I want is to be a dreamcatcher. Now how's THAT for a life ambition?

The last time I was hit by this kind of exhaustion was sometime last year and then I sat at the computer, eyes half-closed, miasma of intoxicated deprivation, fingers navigating themselves over the keys

and ended up rolling out some beautiful crap about oceanbeds and ship eyes and sirens dragging sailors deeper, deeper, deeper... the white pearly depths. shh.

Today was beautiful, though, in so many ways.

And because there are so many ways (the tiniest things: footsteps across the meandering mind) I'm not going to ramble on the long-winded way I usually do and brand it "the way Kerouac did it".

I'm going to make a List. A List of all the Beautiful Things I have stumbled upon lately.

And then I will finish Math, and then I will collapse into bed and not wake till late morning.

So here we go.

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List Of Beautiful Things, V 2.0

1. Toni Nicole Jackson's new bangs.

2. Sirius, Medea and Medusa, Di-and-Cara Sister Connexion. (connexion spelt with an x and not a ct; for the same reason magick is spelt magick and not magic, which doesn't look magickal at all...)

3. SUCCESS AT MAKING DARK CHOCOLATE MOUSSE. So granted you can't go wrong- ever- with any permutation of the full cream-dark chocolate-liquer combination; but still. Lisa and Shak tasted it and they did not die. Or they are dying, being A Level Students, but for reasons other than my mousse. I am such a domestic goddess.

4. warm scents

5. Walks in the evenings with my sister and meeting Salem the black kitten: fearless eyes

6. marginally Helen-esque. Love the duel; Love, the duel. "... You broke up a relationship without even ever stepping into it."

7. curling up on the pillowy daybed on the porch outside, in the mornings- cup of hot coffee in hand and listening to the water feature warble down the stone wall

8. standing in my brother's outdoor shower feature in the middle of a rainstorm

9. lips

10. falling asleep in a tent by the seaside; good music, growing trust, laughter like water. the sounds of planes and waves and the rustle of clothes and soft breathing. textures: flannel shirt under your palms, sand gritty between toes, soft crinkle of tentage against a bare back. hush.