my current fb status: "deeply, amazingly, irrevocably Loved. (golden, golden, golden...)"

...and it's true! it's fucking true.

and I don't usually swear, and people usually use "fucking" as a crass vulgarity- but this time I use it as a kind of revelation, and in a completely new, wonderful, crazy escalating sense of the word.

Today, I have been swathed in words and warmth. They've just been pouring in, and I think I know now what the Bible means when it talks about milk and honey... I'm lying in a pool of it, drugged and dazed and content as a newborn, and my skin is dripping with the great golden wetness of this insane feeling.

to the people to whom I am speaking:

I Love You.

I Love You, I Love You, I Love You-- and I am capitalizing "love" and "you" the way Di does, because those are such sacred, such special words and YOU are sacred and special and You all mean the world to me (just because I'm 18 and have an exuberant tendency to speak in impassioned italics doesn't mean I exaggerate when it comes to things that matter)

...It's not even the big things.

It's the little things: the chipped mermaid blue on my fingernails, the glitter in the corner of my ear, the memory of skin, the words from beautiful people with bare hearts that flooded my fingers, the thought of sunday, the promise of wednesday, the ability to stand against people who have hurt you and say "...no."

all these things, and more. watch the lips of nighttime touch you as you stand by the shore; lift your broken shoulderblades; unfurl the tired people into swans silhouetted against an infinite horizon;

spread slowly, slowly, slowly with the music rising from a vibration to a humming to a child's song to the rising swell and crash of the ocean which moves into a rhapsody a melody a gospel choir and ever more and louder a rushing a rolling a stampeding of powerful water into the inlands and from the top of the mountain it rises into a drumbeat a cacophony of cymbals the war cry of a generation that will rechristen itself Love and which builds into a mighty roar that is joined by all the things that move under the ocean and the wildest of the beasts in Africa and the deadliest of the angels above the sky and under it

and you, in the heart of it all, glowing and spreading and expanding and scintillating and within you is swelling the to-come of the love, love, love, lovvvvvvve, the GREAT GOLDEN BOOM----